Who Knows.

Yeah so...some things, luckily in the vast minority, piss me off lately. And I know that I probably piss people off...a lot. But you know, that's the beauty of humanity: there's always someone pissed at you. And that's when you know you're worth something.

First, let's just get this out there: if you're tough, you are NOT better than anyone. Alright, now let's go back so that we can reach that conclusion. Okay, let's pan to none other than Gym Class. It's hockey time, and of course, you absolutely have got to be the biggest badass in the room...gym, rather. Anyway, so how about this kid comes along, right? Well I should say plops along; he's relatively fat. Now normally, I would not have a huge problem with this. But the fact is that his brain is BY FAR disproportionate to that relatively large mass he calls a body. Obviously, some signals just don't get sent. You know what, scratch that. The signals never exist in the first place. He just kind of is there. ANYway...so here's the quote. And when you hear this quote, you know he is probably the biggest badass mother fucker on the planet. Here it is, direct from him to you: "You wanna see me get kicked out?" WELL HELL YES! Why ELSE would I come to the Physical aspect of Education (besides the fact that it is a complete waste of time, but I digress), but to see you, the epitomy of intellectualism, get kicked out of gym class? So...moving along a bit...here's what happens. He scopes out his prey: a kid not one, but TWO grades lower than he is; a kid not one, but TWO times less weight than he is; and (though I cannot confirm this to a certainty) a kid not one, but TWO times as short as he is (so I hyperbolized). Yes...oh right...sorry...this slipped my mind...the kid...the "prey"...was on ROLLER BLADES...and well, you can guess what the badass mother fucker was on...FEET. Now, I am no physicist or professor, but I am PRETTY sure that it is at least MILDLY harder to balance on roller blades than feet. But, of course I am probably not as smart as this badass mother fucker, so let him figure that one out. Moreover, this badass mother fucker took this kid OUT! IT WAS OFF THE CHAIN (one of the comments made by another brilliant mind)! And, oh dear, what happened, but the teacher kicked him out of Gym Class. Badass Mother Fucker Mission: Complete. Oh tough person, you win again. Because of course, when you need a job, at least you can say "I took a kid out on roller blades in Gym Class and got kicked out [oh yes...this job interview is at a hospital]...wanna see me get kicked out of a hospital?" Cut to him pouring arsenic into a patient's treatment. At least he knows he's a badass mother fucker.

Oh you thought it was done didn't you? Well thank the Maker you kept reading. My next act will be one of DRAMATIC proportions. You know, let's just stop right there, because this is my next point: Drama Kings and Queens. I am not talking about bona fide actors. I like those people. I am talking about the fake ones. Point numero uno: It's always, ALWAYS, about them. Situation: you're in class, and of course, none other than a rebel/goth/emo/..../well-you-get-the-picture is there. And of course, what words come so eloquently out of their mouth, but "I just hate everyone!" Now, there is of course some dramatic gay figure there. And they would, THEY WOULD, take that comment SO DAMN PERSONALLY to mean that the emo/ oh whatever it was, hates them, and THEM ONLY. So they begin to cry. They say "My life is horrible...everyone hates me." My next favorite: "I didn't have a good year/summer [choose one]." How can you say that? HOW?! Does someone seriously go back and look at their years and decide, "Yes...this one was good...this one was bad...that one...et cetera." NO! My philosophy, you ask? A day you live is a good day. If you go to bed, fall asleep, wake up, do whatever, and return to bed the next night, it is a good day. That's not saying the day won't appear to be "bad." It might suck a little. You might just not get a lot of luck or grace out of the day. But to go back and say that an entire YEAR was bad. Alright then, so bad here? Go to Iraq. Go to Darfur. Go to a third world country. Thought it was bad now? Ha ha...now you will see the meaning of suffering. Anyway...what furthers this hindrance of my pleasant demeanor is people who say "I just didn't have a good summer." I'm sorry...you get the whole summer off, and while some are better than others, there has NEVER been a BAD SUMMER. Unless of course, something ACTUALLY bad happened (death, disease, ACTUALLY BAD). Take me...my Grandpa died two summers ago. Was that traumatic? YES. My mother was an only child. To see her go through that was heartbreaking. Was it, dare I say, BAD? YES. Was that summer, the whole thing, BAD? HELL NO! Everything happened as it was supposed to happen. And other than those couple of weeks, it was fine. And even during that, I kept faith that this was as it was supposed to be. But because some friends didn't call you every day, and you sat bored in your house, with NO homework, NO school, NO tests, NO extracurricular activities (there is no CURRICULUM), NO nothing, you think that was bad? But then, to be dramatic, you come back to school and claim you have no friends and say "I hate school...life hates me." You know what? You really want to know what I think of you? Of those I have just described? Fuck you.

A day you live is a good day.