The Only Good Thing to Come from Giant Eagle.

Besides, of course, learning that I wouldn't be a good doctor because I accidentally bagged something wrong. But that's another time and place. What happened today has got to be one of my greatest witnessings, or at least my favorite. Behold the story of

A Man and His Weed.

First, you must know that I was minding my own business, and by minding my own business I mean checking out a woman who bought entirely organic fruits and vegetables and proceeded to tell me what each one was and how much each costs. And on the register next to me, register 10 for those of you keeping score at home, a large family of, oh let's say three generations, including a man, his wife, his brother, his kids, his mother, and his father, proceeds to the checkout. A woman then wanders towards the end of mine, and I had to make sure she was buying parsnips, a rather rare vegetable with which I had previously not dealt.

Suddenly, the woman makes a rather scandalous remark, one that could only include sarcasm...or could it?

"I think that man just dropped his weed."

Now first, I would just like to know how she knows what it looks like. She had to be about 35. And a mother at that, I believe. Then again, when a tiny baggie of dark green spice-looking bunches falls out of a man's pocket and lands on the floor, one can only assume that this is the case. And in fact, after making a slow turn, only for dramatic tension, I noticed that it did look an awful lot like the now very outlawed drug, marijuana.

"I don't really know how to respond to that." (This is me.)

And with a slight chuckle, I really did not. I mean what was I supposed to do? Pick it up and say "Hey you dropped THIS." I am pretty sure if they caught me handling a bag of illegal drugs on security tape, I feel like I would be fired, arrested by Lily (who of course would ask "Where's the beer?"), and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

"You know what, I'll just tell him."

Oh so the woman takes initiative now. She's going to march up to him and tell him straight to his face that he dropped the illegal substance. Right?

"Hey, you dropped something."

Aww, man, and I thought she was going to actually say "weed." But alas, she calls it "something." But now the man is suddenly a bit flustered. Oh my! We've discovered his secret. With his family there and all! He quickly wheels around on his heel and snatches up the tiny bag. He then places it quickly in his pocket, never to see daylight (yeah right) again.

However, no one really knows if it was in fact weed. Could it have been some odd spice that rarely makes its way from the high hills of Finland to the United States? Considering the circumstances, I think not. So, actually, I can't really report anything or state anything to be certain because I did not ask, nor did I even begin to think about touching it. So was it really the all-powerful marijuana as the woman first thought?

Alas, we will never know...