Stephen Colbert Dining Facility

Nation, I am calling on you to take action in one of the greatest crises that has ever plagued this great country. The University of Pittsburgh, Main Campus, is in need of a new dining facility. Over the web, students like me, maybe you, maybe your brother, maybe your mother, can submit a request for the naming of this new eatery. If you have any ounce of patriotism, any ounce of American pride, I tell you to go to http://www.pc.pitt.edu/dining/locations/suggestion.html and type in the suggestion

Stephen Colbert Dining Facility.

I can think of no greater way to praise Colbert and of course subsequently the President, than to name the facility the Stephen Colbert Dining Facility. And all you haters out there, who are probably democrats, you just shut your mouths. We don't need this new facility named after some worthless piece of crap like Al Gore or the hilarious John Kerry. Even if you attend some other school, forging your name in the name of Stephen Colbert is the most honorable American act in the history of America, and subsequently, freedom. So if you want to keep this country free, then go to http://www.pc.pitt.edu/dining/locations/suggestion.html and submit your suggestion, Stephen Colbert Dining Facility. I know it's not technically a voting thing, but let's be honest, when Democracy has the possibility to exist, Democracy always wins.

Which reminds me, vote on Tuesday...