Metacommunication

Yeah, I know, big word, right? Well, as I recently found out in my anthropology class, that rather large word up there means "communicating about communicating." And I know what you're thinking. "You stay awake in anthropology class?" Well, I kept my eyes open long enough to learn about this word. Apparently jokes and myths and blah blah blah blah...they were examples of metacommunication. But me? I'm here to talk about some recent mishaps in my communication, and I'll probably try to throw in some pathetic attempt at humor.

Numero uno on my list: writing.
Apparently I'm in a writing class now, something about writing professionally. Writing has always been, in my experience, my most inconsistent class. I'll get teachers who think my writing is (what I perceive as) terrible; then I'll get teachers, even a college professor, who will ask "Where did you learn to write? Cuz you're really good." Then I'll come into this writing for the professional field or whatever the hell it's called, oh right, Written Professional Communications, which I will now call WPC if I need to refer to it again...lost my place...oh right...I'll come into this class and write and get nothing higher than a B, with many B-'s and even a C thrown in; by the way, the C came on a paper that I re-revised to a T (or an X, if you wish) in the way the professor wanted. Now, whenever I am criticized about my writing, and I'm sure everyone feels this way at least some of the time, for some reason, however hard I try (and succeed most of the time) to take it as constructive criticism, there's always a part of me that takes it personally. So I've been looking, well not looking, more like pondering, to find the reason for this. And I think I have a relatively good explanation. I think we get worked up when someone criticizes our writing because they are criticizing our basic communication. All writing is is taking our thoughts about a subject and putting them in a slightly more formal manner. We are taking English, or American-English if you REALLY prefer, our native language, the one we speak ever so incessantly every single day, we are taking that language, and putting on paper. Then someone tells you, "Well...not exactly." Or there are some (like my ever-annoying professor as of late) who just cross out what you write and put in what THEY think you should have written (because of course, we are supposed to read the professor's mind and then write down our ESP-driven thoughts). So basically, someone is telling you, "Yeah you don't really communicate well." So now, I find it hard whenever the same thing happens on every paper to take the criticism with a grain of salt. Especially when some teachers before have said "Oh yes, you're a good writer." So now I don't know WHAT my writing is. And you know what, folks? It grinds my gears. But of course, I keep chugging along, stable as always because that's the type of person I am.

Yes I know I just complained a bit. And yes I hate people who complain all the time. But this is my blog. And I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I don't care if you, or if anyone out there reads this pathetic excuse for discourse. It's my outlet, my one outlet; if you don't like it, stop reading. I literally could not care less.

And thus on to my next topic. The speaking part.
Recently, and even a few years back, I have been told "You don't really communicate well" or "You're socially retarded". Again, I believe being told this hits closer to home because now, not only is my writing being called "bad" or "wrong," but now my speaking and direct communication is being called into question. Perhaps I am not meant to say or write anything. Perhaps I speak too much, or use incorrect words. But for those of you who HAVE told me these sorts of things, I would hope that you see my true intention, even if my words come out more messed up than that guy who was the first human clone. Do we have a clip? No? No clip?

By the way, if you didn't get that joke, watch the Family Guy where Brian and Stewie join the Army.

So if you do not understand what I say or what I write, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty set in my ways. I hope you see (or hear...see I'm already screwing it up) my true intentions and that you don't get bogged down by my incoherence. I think I've said enough. Or written enough. Whatever the hell you want to call it, call it that. Maybe I've pooped enough. No, that's impossible.

It's good to be back...