Fries+Milkshake+Meatball+PixelatedFakeMoonPerson=Bomb

Obviously.

Nation, look at us. Just take a look. Do a little introspection nation. It's time to start acting like a real country. I mean come on, we can't even get the people who represent us to be smart, so let us be smart. Alright? Let's be smart.

Okay. So yesterday, I think, in Boston, these signs for the show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, one of the best shows on [adult swim], thusly T.V., were found, even though they had been there for WEEKS. This fact will become quite important later, but for now, officials believed these devices were bombs, of course, because they had batteries and wires coming out of them. Not to mention they depicted a Mooninite giving the finger (which consists of a single line). Now these signs lit up at night (of course that means they had URANIUM in them), quite similar to the oh-so-awesome Lite Brite of the '80's. In essence, the entire city of Boston was shut down due to the presence of these devices, around 40 of them, throughout the city.

Okay, let me get this out of the way. Was it ENTIRELY intelligent to place electronic devices randomly around the city? Probably not. Maybe next time put a logo or something under them. So yeah, it may have been a slip of the mind, but ONLY a slight one.

Now, let's get on with it. What is really going on. It's like that Comcast commercial, for saving cabbage, you know? "STOP FREAKIN' OUT!" Holy freaking God settle down. First of all, as I explained before, they had been there for weeks. WEEKS! AHHHH! The sheer stupidity of overlooking this fact is making me go CRAZY! These signs had been there for awhile, and a) they did NOT blow up b) no one cared and c) they DID NOT BLOW UP. They were not bombs. They were a marketing campaign (which, by now, is probably a good one [irony...]). And yet, they were obviously part of hoax. A hoax! Do you know what the word hoax really means? It means "something used INTENDED to deceive or defraud." For those of you who still don't quite understand, that means it is something INTENDED to deceive or defraud. Nowhere does it say "a marketing campaign that was MISTAKEN for terrorist activity."

That's the other thing. The logical side. I mean, if this really were a terrorist plot, would they REALLY have left these things out that light up, LIGHT UP, at night with a character from a (relatively) popular T.V. show? I mean, we're constantly told that terrorists are these people that are very smart and cunning and will do anything to bring down America. Does placing popular logos of a T.V. show about Frylock (talking fries) Master Shake (talking milkshake) Meatwad (talking meatball) and the Mooninites (talking Moon pixel-people) and leaving them out for weeks for many people to see really sound like a "smart" plan? Or do you think they might start by getting into places with a lot of people and low security (basically any big gathering of people)? What we should be scared of, Nation, is drug trafficking, smuggling, airport security, Iraq, global warming, Sudan/Darfur, the justice system, Alzheimers, obesity, racism, prejudice, cancer, Hillary Clinton! But of course, I'm just a young person, and I don't know what I'm talking about. Of course, I didn't SPECIFICALLY say that the marketing people's judgment wasn't exactly great. I DIDN'T say that. I didn't cover my bases, knowing that I probably would have put the damn logo for the show under the signs (that was a pretty stupid move, marketers). Right.

I know I'm only 19, which of course means I am probably a liberal, but I'm NOT. I'm a freaking conservative, but COME ON. Settle down. Instead of trying to ascertain what exactly the logo was, even if it was nothing (which it wasn't), you just overreacted. And now, of course, it's a hoax. It was intentional. Oh my, Nation. Oh my.

Number one in the hood, G...