Musings

I kinda like that word. And no, it doesn't mean songs by Muse. Although they are awesome enough to warrant a word for their songs. Seriously go listen to them. You won't be disappointed.

Anyway, I've been sitting in bed, kinda sorta thinking about putting up a post, feeling like I wanted to, but then, out of laziness/video game...ness...I wouldn't. Well there's nothing immensely important that I needed to say; rather, as the title suggests, just some...musings (not Black Holes and Revelations, though).

Lately, as anyone who knows me will surely agree with, I have been playing a sport some people call golf. On many different days there are many different names for the game, "this stupid game," "fucking shit," "fucking asshole," "retarded" included, but it is all one simple game: golf. Get a ball in a hole (that's what she said WHOA that would suck if she did)...seems easy enough. Oh but by the way, a golf ball is like an inch in diameter, and the hole is just large enough to allow the ball to sink in when you are lucky enough to put it in (without it being a gimme, of course). Also, we're gonna put you anywhere from about 150 to 600 (PGA duh) YARDS, not feet, away from that hole, and then we want you to pick up that metal stick and hit it, hard, to try to get it there in the fewest strokes possible. So the game is a little more than meets the eye (Transformers...right right right). And as I have played, specifically in these past 2 years, there is one number that consistently becomes the bane of my existence:

79.

If you are a golfer (and if you aren't, you're dead to me...not really I know that's pretty morbidly obese), you know that this is a pretty significant number. If you break 80 and hit the 79 button, you are pretty legit in the golfing world. The average golf score is around 100 on 18 holes, but if you say "I shot in the 70's," you have some serious game. I have never accomplished the feat, shooting 5 80's and countless 81's and 82's. In fact, I recently was on course to break the 80 barrier, rather easily, having a total of 69 going into the 17th hole. In other words, if I could get 10 or less in the next 2 holes (the first of which was an average length par 4, the last a medium distance par 3), I would have done it. Easy...just do what you've been doing all day...play solid, you can go bogey-double bogey and do it. That's actually a bad score, but honestly it wouldn't matter. Of course, what happens, you start thinking about it, the "what if I do it?" type stuff, and next thing you know, you've made a 7, and have a putt for par (3) on the last hole. So it all comes down to this...you've just spent the last 3 hours grinding it out, you've gotten yourself to this point, just make the 10 footer. You hit the putt (well...I hit the putt), it's got a good line, looks like good speed, it hits the edge of the hole and begins to descend. This is when the Tiger creep to the side of the hole awaiting a fist pump begins. But alas, the ball menacingly lips out of the hole, and it's over. You can't do it. Not today...perhaps not ever. Then you start to realize...I shoulda, woulda, coulda done so many things differently.

And of course, you putt the same putt again, after finishing the hole, and you sink it dead center.

And THAT, my friends, is what golf is.

Next up on the musings is the romantic slice of life that remains empty...at least for me. It's not that I don't mind it...well that's not true...I do mind it...but more importantly, it's that thing of always having that one person. Sure you may flirt/date those other girls (or if you're a girl reading this, those other guys...or...girls)...but you'll always have that "This is the girl I want to be with" going on in the back of your head. Of course that begs a few questions: does this person feel the same way, will it ever happen, should I just get over it, blah blah blah. And I think that when you feel that way about someone, especially if you're talking to and are good friends with them, you get the feeling that they at least know you yourself feel that way. Or at least you want to believe that. But it's ok...because 99% of the time, it doesn't work out. Because of the situation, because of the personalities, whatever it is, the vast majority of the time, it can't work. Whether it's someone that you've known for a long time, or if it's someone you met but never really got the guts to go for, it is often hard for anything to work if you don't at least try. But naturally, you run into the whole ruining what you had, screwing up everything, making a mistake, and all that. But that person, that one person, they're always there, in the back of your mind. Perhaps you just need to spill your guts, or perhaps you just need to somehow get over it. Me? I have not yet decided which is the best. But I'm sure I will know soon enough.

Golf and girls. Is there any more to life? I think not.

79, you will be mine, and I know that rhymes so just stop...