Survived to Live Another Day

Oh yes. You knew it was coming. The end of finals, the end of the semester. And thus, a catharsis by yours truly. I thought what better time to put the pen to the paper, or in this case the fingers to the keyboard, then the day after my last final when I am still slightly hungover from the pitcher of shots we decided to buy that, in my humble opinion, had too much Jager, but that's because I don't like black licorice. Anyway, anyway, anyway, having finished finals and knowing I actually did do relatively well on most of them, including biochemistry where I got the job done (having checked it not five minutes ago), I always seem to want to just let it all out. Well, not all of it. But some of it.

I read an article in the Pitt News (the newspaper run by students of the university that's almost as good as the New York Times...almost...I mean, it has Sudoku every day what more do you want?) where professors were of the opinion that if the students were not stressed during finals week, then nothing would get done. However, there was another article just beside that expressed the professors' disdain at having to grade so much work this week. Oh, I'm sorry, but, let me get this straight: you, the professor, assigned this and YOU, the professor, do not HAVE to assign this, right? Right. So no complaining. If you don't want to grade so much work then don't assign so much work. There, that's pretty simple, right?

Second, and I know I'm going out of order, the whole "if you're not stressed you won't get things done" argument does not stand and here's why. Look at what happens during the year (and this applies to majors and people who a) have work to do and b) get that work done). I know I was not NEARLY as stressed as I have been these past two weeks, and, oh my God, I got things done! Believe it or not, it is possible to do work because you just have to do work. Furthermore, stress very often (okay not VERY often let's go with 50% of the time) pushes me away from work rather than towards it. When I get too stressed, my mind sometimes wanders and I lose focus and motivation (like I said, maybe 50% of the time). Because there are those times, and you know you have them too, where your mind just thinks, "What's the point? Is this really worth it?" Now, most of us who have some success in our lives can motivate ourselves to get done what we need to get done. But we have also given up at times because we feel that there is no purpose, there is no importance, in doing any more work.

Also, stress contributes to sickness and bad health (Yay Healthy People 2010 all you pharmacy students say hell yeah [well P1's from Pitt at least]).

So what is the solution, then? "What do we DO MIKE?!" Here is a simple one. Make finals less important. Make them 15% of your grade, as opposed to 25%, 35%, or, in the case of PoP, 60%. This way, you know you have to take them, because if you don't you, in effect, lose a letter grade. But they will not be the end all be all grade. I mean, think about it. Why should one grade on a few random questions assess your ability to learn? Should it not be the application of this knowledge that determines your ability? Should it not be an overall assessment that determines what you know? Too often these exams test on what parts of the subject you happened to study most. Too often they come down to luck.

But of course, the age-old dilemma of using written examinations comes into context. In a perfect world, we could assess our ability to use what we have learned, rather than the amount of knowledge we have stored in our medium term memory (not short term, not long term, keep up people). Still, this would be virtually impossible from a logistical standpoint, and there is something still to be said for written examinations. Furthermore, I believe this point of view has been brought up before, and clearly nothing has changed.

And maybe, just maybe (and that little voice in my head is telling me "NOOOOOO!") finals really do test us as people. I have discussed this thought before, but maybe it does ring true. I don't know. I guess because my GPA is lower this semester than it has been in the past I feel more resentment toward exams. But alas, I have no control over such matters.

In the end, as Budd once said, "Which 'R' are you feelin? Relief? Or regret?" (I'm not even going to ask you what movie that's from, you just need to know). In this case, I most definitely feel relief. In fact, once I walked out of my last final, I interestingly did not feel overjoyed or excited. I felt, for lack of a better word, tired. I was so relieved that my body had begun to shut down and hibernate for a couple of weeks (okay I have to work so I guess I can't sleep all of the time). And then of course I went out to the bar and had far too much to drink, which is always a good time. Oh right, it's only been a good time since November 17 when I had my first alcoholic beverage ever. Right. Clearly.

And it's the Christmas season. No not the HOLIDAYS. I mean, yes it is the holidays, but it's Christmas season. And Christmas bells are ringing. Oh wait, that's just my head. Yay hangovers.

Merry Christmas you bastards...