300 Review

Do any of you remember that episode of Family Guy when Peter tells Lois that he didn't marry her "just for the rack, or the caboose. It's that big sexy brain of yours." Well, in the case of 300, I may not actually marry it, but I did like for its rack, and its caboose. The sexy brain? Ah, did you really expect one from a movie about 300 battle-ready Spartans fending off millions of Persians, based on a graphic novel? I didn't think so.

Well I gave you the basic run-down of the story. What else, oh, the King of Sparta is Leonidas. He is the one who leads the Spartans, even though the "oracle" tells him not to, into battle. His wife, Queen Gorgo, supports her husband (excuse the pun...if you see the movie, you'll know what I mean). And there are other minor characters, such as the father whose son dies in battle. And then there's Xerxes, who is quite odd. He's the Persian God/King who believes he is divine, and that he should have everything. He's the one causing all the ruckus. Everything else you'll just have to see.

First, let's get the obvious issue of one Frank Miller out of the way. Yes, he also created the most excellent Sin City (also a graphic novel) and his design is clear here. He seems to know what genre he wants to do, and he nails it with great form. He knows this particular movie is epic; it is about honor and glory; it is about being a badass man. It's a man's movie, a man's subject matter, and Miller exploits this. I may delve into the occasional musical every now and then, but after seeing this film, there's no denying the fact that there is just something amazing about yelling and fighting with swords. The reason I say "Miller" is doing this whilst Zack Snyder directed it is because this film takes from the graphic novel heavily, from what I've seen. All this being said, I still prefer Sin City. While they are two very different movies, they both are based off of the same author's graphic novels, they both have a narrator in the background, they both have clever humorous bits, and they both have some of the most interesting visuals to ever grace the silver screen. Again, I prefer Sin City, but that's most definitely not saying this movie is bad. Just my preference.

The most striking thing about this movie is that some of the shots and even sequences are borderline art, however brutal the film is. The men falling off of the mountain is just one example, while you've got the tree of the dead, the men on horseback coming over the hill. When Xerxes speaks, you see his mouth (it emphasizes the influence words, rather than actions, have on dumb ears). I could go on and on. These types of things, these fantastic cinematographic moments, are what I love. I'm a sucker for them, and that's why I liked this film.

My next compliment is also, as I see it, a slight fault. The film takes itself seriously, with the occasional humor that breaks it up. Mostly though, it's serious. And for the most part this is a good thing, because if the movie did not take itself seriously, it would not succeed; it would end up being a campy joke. With seriousness, it is easier to believe. It's hard to explain, but if you see it, you'll know what I mean. The problem is that it does seem a little over-indulgent at times. For example, the oracle sequence is not too big of a deal, because it is near the beginning. But looking back, it was a little over the top, and a little unnecessary for me. Still, the art direction in that scene was fantastic, but it was sort of like, "We're going to show boobs, and we're going to show them now." Then there was the whole sex scene, which when you see Leonidas standing (naked) looking at the moon, you can easily predict what is going to happen in that bedroom. And that scene was just a little weird for me. Although some may see it tasteful, as I could actually understand, I thought it to be a little indulgent.

The humor is hit and miss, and you'll find yourself laughing at some lines ("At least the Gods blessed me with a spare" when Dilios talks about losing an eye), while groaning at others (as some others laugh). Again, it's hit and miss, mostly puns and slips of the tongue, but it depends on what you find funny. That being said, I do appreciate the overall attempt at humor, in a movie that takes itself, at times, a bit too seriously. It's nice to have those little breaks.

You've also got to prepare yourself for the brutality of the film. Multiple decapitations, many limbs lost, and lots of blood. Just be warned. However brutal the film is, when the violence happens, it's so tastefully done that you're bound to look past it and appreciate the how and why of it, rather than the what, the actual acts.

One more thing I could have used was a little bit more emotion. The script is slightly above average, let's just be honest. Everything that comes out of their mouths is pure badass, but it's a lot of screaming "SPARTANS!" and other war cries. I know that the queen was supposed to be loyal to her husband (though she wasn't?), and she struggles with this, but she could have possibly not agreed with her husband, slightly, making it all the more difficult to say good-bye. Though, the end is very good, but I won't spoil it. That scene has the most emotion, and I loved it. The other emotional appeal they do have is the death of the son as the father witnesses it. This is great stuff, but I wish they could have put a little more into both the father and son's character, and we could feel for both of them even more. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if the movie were longer, clocking in at just under two hours. This is, to me, downright short. Though, I suppose the director's cut DVD is not far behind.

The film is actiony action, with some action, and a little action for your liking. But it so tasteful, so artful, so brutal, that you can't not appreciate it. You just can't. Except maybe if you're a woman. Definitely not a date movie. Oh God no. I mean, unless you want to dump her. Good time, when the arrows rain down on Leonidas, "Let's just be friends." Anyway, anyway, anyway, if you like great art direction, good effects, a comic book-like atmosphere, and some insane action, well then, you're a fan of films. More importantly, you'll like this one.

See, it is the sexy rack and caboose...

4/5