Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Review

Call it a case of lowered expectations, but I was very much satisfied with number three. I don't really know why, considering it was so so so so similar, in fact almost the same movie as two, but for some reason I liked this one slightly more. Slightly though; there are some glaring issues still.

You know what? I'm not even going to begin to try to describe the story. It's plain laughable, and to be honest, I didn't know what the hell was going on in the middle of it. But, if you really feel you need it, everyone is looking for Jack, they find him, then some sort of bargain happens, they want Calypso, they want Davy Jones' heart, they fight, a lot. This is the huge huge HUGE problem with Pirates, as it was for the last one. The story is almost unintelligible. It's not complex, because complex normally has a good connotation; it's complicated, and unnecessarily so. The only purpose of the needlessly long dialogue sequences is to get to the next action scene. If the story were a little more simple, this would be okay, because number one, there wouldn't be all this junk we have to sift through, and two, the movie would be slightly shorter. I like long movies, don't get me wrong, but if half the dialogue was taken out and replaced with action, I wouldn't mind this length. And another thing that bothers me is that some, if not all, the characters' accents are so difficult to understand. If they spoke in a normal, relatively loud tone this would be fine (I'm normally proficient at understanding through accents). But half the time they are screaming, whispering, or talking while others are talking. For instance, when Calypso is huge, and she is screaming, I can honestly say I have no idea if she was screaming words or just gibberish. And with such complicated storytelling, this only adds to your confusion. Next time? Make the story simpler. Please. I'm sick of having to listen intently for half of the movie and trying to decipher what it is they're saying, and how it pertains to the plot.

Whew. That was a rant. But you all know it's true. So what was better about this one? To be honest, I don't know. Maybe it felt more epic; maybe it had the feeling of ending the trilogy; maybe it was Keith Richards' cameo; whatever it was, I did like this one more. For one, there was a lot more Jack Sparrow, and Barbossa returns! Both play their parts amazingly as usual, and Depp is in top form. Seriously, I wouldn't have a problem with him being nominated for Best Actor again. Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are good as well, better I thought than the last one, but their story is starting to bore me. And Keith Richards as Jack's dad? Ha ha...hilarious...hilarious. Oh and Chow Yun-Fat!

What was really impressive was the action, and all that it encompasses. The fight scenes were insane and engaging. The last one especially. It was very epic and the buildup was pretty nice. The fight between Jack and Davy Jones is awesome. That fight in itself was worth the price of admission. It had everything that made the Pirates series good in the first place: great sword-fighting, good humor, and a general sense of improvisation.

Along with the action comes absolutely insane visual effects. These are definitely on-par with the likes of Revenge of the Sith and Spider-Man 3. Davy Jones is probably one of, if not the best complete CGI character ever created. And the actor, Bill Nighy, is amazing at his role. It's like he was built for it, sort of like Depp was built for Sparrow. Anyway, all of the effects, even the ships themselves, seem even better than Dead Man's Chest. They are just very realistic and extremely detailed. When they get involved in small quarrels, or incredible ship-to-ship mayhem, however you see it, their destruction is a wonder to behold.

In the end, it's all relatively satisfying. You get the sense that this is the third movie in a trilogy, but of course, a cash cow such as Pirates of the Caribbean can't end, and the movie does everything it can to hint, if not telegraph, that there will, definitely, be another Pirates of the Caribbean. Luckily for us all, At World's End ends the trilogy as simply as it started. I won't give it away, though I sort of just did. Oh, and it's pretty obvious that Will and Elizabeth will be back (damn). But, in the movie's defense, Will and Elizabeth seem to have an interesting plot now. We will see.

So yay, start those celebrations, it is better than two. If it was even the same as two, I probably would have hated it. But with insane action, dazzling effects, and more Jack Sparrow, this movie tops the second, but still doesn't quite live up to the first one. You dig?

At least there's rum now...

3/5

Some Things Don't Make Sense.

Nation, I'm not saying that I understand everything and that whatever I say goes. That's for you to decide. Anyway, there have been a few things lately that just bug me. They don't necessarily make me angry or furious, but they do exist as minor annoyances that either no one seems to want to express or people just seem to ignore. And I ask you: Am I the only one?

First, this whole issue of liberals vs. conservatives, left vs. right, Democrats vs. Republicans. Now yes, for a few years there, the conservative, Republican was known as the majority. So it was okay for Jon Stewart and co. to call themselves the ones that no one listens to, the ones that get no say, the minority. But now, with Bush's approval rating plummeting to about 29%, the majority of Congress being Democrat, and an overall liberal media, since when can left wings keep playing the sympathy card? I mean, on a daily basis you'll hear, from liberals, how the media covers up Bush, and supports him enough to blind the country. You'll hear about how no one seems to listen to the truth about how badly Iraq is going (which is true, I'm not arguing that). You'll hear how no one seems to believe the fact of global warming. But uh, unless I am sorely mistaken, is that NOT what most of the country, in fact a high percentage of the country, believes? Let's be honest: the country is no longer conservative. The Republicans are out. The media is almost overwhelmingly anti-Bush, anti-government, anti-conservative. I'm not saying that the media is wrong, the country is wrong, everything is wrong. I mean, yes I am a conservative, and while I disagree about some things that left wing people say and do, I'm not putting down anyone's opinions. I'm just saying, to most Democrats, stop acting like the Republican conservative have a huge hold on everything. I DO think we should get out of Iraq; I DO think we should stop spying on our own people; I DO think that global climate change is a problem and we should be a bit more active. But come on. I'm not going to sympathize with the now majority playing the "we're so out-numbered" game anymore. Sorry. Now I'm the minority. SO I know how you feel, how you felt (though I never acted like a bigot [see Nancy Grace, Bill O'Reilly]). In less than two years we'll have a Democrat in office, and then it'll all be alright. But stop acting like you're opinion is discredited by many, because it's not, and I think you know that.

Oh, and by the way, while I do think we do need to watch this global climate change, Global Warming is not a cold-hard "fact." Yeah, we probably did contribute a little bit, but actually, Mars is experiencing a similar global climate change, and I'm pretty sure there aren't any humans there. Oh, and the Earth DOES go through climate cycles. This could be one of them. The REAL fact is that we don't have enough evidence to make a claim about anything. The REAL fact is that we pollute this place so damn much that maybe we DO need to lower CO2 emissions, maybe we DO need to lower sulfur emissions, maybe we DO need to research better ways to obtain energy OTHER than oil.

And, with all this charity work we are doing, it seems like we are slightly forgetting about this little killer, cancer. Just seems like that has taken a backseat to a lot of other causes (again, not that they aren't important; just seems like cancer isn't anymore). That's why I'm glad to see over 40,000 people run in Race for the Cure on Mother's Day. Seriously, I think that's amazing. Astounding, really.

And one more thing. Quite frankly one more person: Carlos Mencia. Um, first of all, how is "Mind of Mencia" still on the air? Second of all, how are blatantly obvious, completely unfunny, overtly racist stereotypes funny? I mean, I've heard SO many "White people are..." or "Black people do..." that actually are funny because they are DIFFERENT. But, "White people go camping. How rich are you, that you like to pretend you're broke for a weekend?" is not only completely stupid, but it's just wrong. Ummm...not many "rich" people go camping, and that joke is so hackneyed, so tired that I vomit every time I hear it. And since when can we just go completely racist (and be just so so so so so so so so unfunny) and then say it's okay, oh right, because HE isn't white? I mean, have you listened to his jokes? Like I said before, I can't believe he is still on the air. Is THIS the substitute for Chappelle? Oh right, Chappelle's show was ACTUALLY funny, so let's just take it off the air, and replace it with a show that is racist in a horrible, unfunny, stereotypical way. THAT'S good marketing. Basically, I just don't understand why Carlos Mencia has that show. Maybe his earlier stand-up specials were slightly amusing, but this show just blows.

Senseless...

Spider-Man 3 Review

3. 3 always seems to be the best one. Except Indiana Jones. I mean, from Revenge of the Sith to Return of the King, 3 always surpasses our expectations. And Spider-Man 3 is no different. From amazing special effects to some surprising emotional depth, Spider-Man 3 delivers on all fronts.

So what's the scoop with Parker now? Things start off well, as people actually like Spider-Man; he's an icon of sorts. However, as is a common tragic flaw, this positive feedback hubristically goes to Peter's head. He is full of himself, and does, well, so as to keep spoilers away, he does SOMETHING to anger Mary Jane. Oh, he and Harry are fighting as well, and Flint Marko, a captured criminal, has escaped. You know what, I'll just blow that one to smithereens, he's Sandman. And of course, as you all know, an alien symbiote lands and somehow infects Peter, giving him the (quite amazing) black suit, and of course, Venom appears later. Really, if I described any more, I would be spoiling it.

What I just said is both a good thing and a flaw. What's good about all of this is that it makes the movie more complex. In the middle of it, you'll sort of be wondering how in the hell they are going to tie all this up. They surprisingly do it pretty well. However, the complexity and multiplicity both make the story a little bare-bones. Flint Marko is BARELY developed and Venom really could use more screen time. I'm sure Venom will be back so next time we'll see it, but he was really a sweet character and I could have used more of him. Also, the bare-bones story kind of hurts the ending a bit, as it seems sudden, though somehow right.

Oh, and before I go on, I may be one of the few who admits this, but I LIKED Topher Grace as Eddie Brock. I thought he was pretty damn good.

Anyway, one thing I do need to comment on is the visual effects. They are absolutely amazing in this movie. The ones that do stand out in my mind are in the fight with Harry at the beginning. I mean, the transitions from live action to CG are invisible; you really can't tell. Shows how far CGI is coming. Sandman's effects are also amazing, and of course Venom is incredible. I guess I was just blown away at how real and lifelike all the stuff looked. It's probably the best I've seen in awhile, if not ever.

The action is intense, with a crazy fight about fifteen minutes in between Harry and Peter (yes Peter, not Spider-Man). My favorite fight, well, I'm torn I guess. The subway fight with Sandman is awesome, I must admit, but the final battle is amazing. I want Spidey and Venom to go at it for an entire movie. I would watch it. Awesome. Spidey fans, eat your heart out.

With all the action, the emotional intensity is amped up, but sometimes too much so. A lot of times I kept asking "Why are they mad at Peter?" Yes, he screws up (big time in fact; did he NOT know MJ was watching?). But then it seems that they make up, and then something happens, and people blame Peter. In the second film, it was okay because there wasn't as much complexity, but here, if Raimi would have taken a little more time, it would have worked better.

And then there's the black suit, and all it entails. Numero uno, it's a really powerful weapon. Spider-Man is stronger, faster, and just better. However, it affects the mind as well. It makes Peter more aggressive and arrogant. What I really liked about this plot thread was that Peter seems to shake it off, but then sort of "gives in" to its power. He wants revenge, and the black suit provides it. Still, it ruins many relationships, and changes Peter for the worse (though, he becomes a slightly funny asshole, for lack of a better word). I always loved the black suit in the comics and the cartoons, so for me this was my favorite part.

In the end, it all works almost flawlessly. Sure, it's not perfect, but you can't take this as a single film. Some people may argue that if this weren't a sequel, it wouldn't work. And that's true, but isn't that what a sequel is? Is it not a continuation of a popular story? Whatever, I really liked it, it definitely fulfilled and surpassed my expecations, especially visually. I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Here's looking forward to 4...

4/5