Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review

He's back. He certainly is. And in a big way. Well, by big I mean summer popcorn movie big. But, like "Transformers" of last summer, this one is so good at what it does, it's very hard not to have fun when you're there.

The story is eh...kinda out there. In a nutshell Indiana, or Henry, Jones is basically kidnapped by Russian military and then taken to a military warehouse to find this alien from Roswell that has a crystal skull that is apparently from this ancient civilization. Another archaeologist, Professor Oxley, or Ox, played by John Hurt (Chancellor Sutler in "V for Vendetta") was trying to return the skull to its original resting place but ended up going crazy because, as I said, this is an alien skull with apparently psychic powers. Oh along the way he meets Shia LaBeouf, named Mutt, and of course Mary Ravenwood, played by Karen Allen who you will of course remember. Cate Blanchett is a Russian, Irina Spalko, with psychic powers (yes I had the same reaction) and Ray Winstone (Mr. French in "The Departed" or Beowulf in...well you can guess the movie there) is Mac, who is a quintuple or so agent for the CIA and KGB.

So yeah, the story is kind of "eh," which is one of the big problems with Indy 4. The best two Indiana films, Raiders and Crusade (if you don't know what I'm talking about already, stop reading the review, the movie is not for you at all), had stories revolving around religious and yes, supernatural things, but nothing of the magnitude seen in Indy 4. The good thing is I can give you spoilers like oh my God, they return the skull to its resting place, and not ruin what makes the movie good. But that's also kind of a bad thing, because it would have been nicer to see Indy 4 take on a Raiders-type story and evoke that yeah, we know it isn't real, but it is kind of grounded in something somewhat real, rather than the here's aliens from space (literally) route. You're going to have to suspend your disbelief TOTALLY for this film. But, like I said, that's not the reason for seeing the movie.

You see this movie for two words oft used in the realm of video games, but should be a whole new genre in movies as well: action/adventure. There are bone-crushing, old-school fist fights, extended chase scenes involving various characters who hop between two, three, sometimes upwards of 5 to 6 vehicles before ending up in a friendly one, crazy "I have a bad feeling about this" (which is oddly said once by Indy) moments, and many many improvised-looking moments that define Indiana Jones as a character. This is a pure, escapist, fun movie. The two hour running time races by and it never drags. While this is partly to due to a relatively flat script and storyline, the action and chase scenes more than make up for it. This is a spectacle movie with basically no position taken, nothing important to say, other than "Here comes the funk here comes the noise." Oh...wait a minute...

So how does Mr. 350 year-old Harrison Ford look? He looks...honestly...better than I thought he would. He doesn't look like the Indy of old, obviously, and this might (and probably should) be his last Indy film with him as the main action/adventurer, but he ably holds up Indy and survives some unbelievable situations (yes, he survives a nuclear blast in a refrigerator). But Ford keeps plugging, and does some fine action scenes and delivers those ole one-liners almost as well as he used to. I just wish he used his whip more (...?).

There are a few other problems that mar an otherwise very enjoyable movie. Like I said, the story is rather odd and the script is very flat. There's no real plot here other than "Get object A to location B." Oh right, Shia is Indy's son. There you go. I told you what you already knew. The other characters other than Indy and Mary are really empty, and they aren't really fleshed out at all. Shia LaBeouf is a pretty good actor, but those skills aren't really used. Same goes for Mr. French I mean Ray Winstone and John Hurt. The script has two problems. It's very empty, like I said, and it's quite awkward at some times.

Another small complaint includes over-reliance on CGI-based visual effects. This is Indiana Jones, not Star Wars, Mr. Lucas. We know you can do amazing stuff with the CGI (see "Revenge of the Sith"), but that's not what Mr. Jones requires. The one other problem is that the payoff for every action is very small. The characters aren't really rewarded for anything, other than with their lives. It just makes the movie seem a little inconsequential.

But the action and treasure-plundering make up for almost all of this. I love the excitement, the thrill, the pure fun of the movie. It's big, stupid, but fun. It might be, and probably will be, the most fun you'll have at the movies this summer. As far as great films go, this may not be up there, and it might even finish 3rd in the Indiana Jones race (sorry Temple of Doom...you just...you...just...no), but it still is a hell of a lot of fun. And sometimes at the movies, that's a good thing.

Oh and that metaphor at the end of the movie? I don't know how I feel about it...

4/5.