There's Just No Room in the Middle

I didn't really know what I was going to write about when I started this. I had ideas, thoughts perhaps, but not a full fledged composition. And maybe that's what I should do more often. Many (or is it few?) know that my release is often writing. Besides the old girl here I've written and subsequently deleted the beginnings of many stories. But those are for another time and place. No no, what I've come here for tonight at 1:02 in the morning is for a plea, a request even. I want some sense of intelligence to agree with me. Or at least I want myself to agree with me. I want to make a plea to none other than Logic.

I guess I've had much of what I've said and what I'm about to say in my mind for months, perhaps even years. It's not of great importance, I just don't think I've ever actually come out and said, or asked, it. I want to know why moderation, and being in the moderate perspective is such a forgotten and frowned-upon notion in the world. I have always been of the mindset that you make decisions based mostly on rational thought and then throw in your emotions, viewpoints, and other various aspects in if necessary or if they coincide with your decision. But this philosophy is all but dead in recent times. We have now substituted, or rather replaced, "moderate" with "mediocre." Though this is certainly not the case! Somewhere along the line, however, society decided that you must choose a side on every issue and stick to that side regardless.

This is true in many different areas. This would have been INCREDIBLY appropriate when the whole debt ceiling debate raged on down to the last minute. Since when has it been common practice to decide on a particular political name, then stick to some foregone ideology that could potentially bring down an entire nation? I'm not even being specific here, because both sides were guilty in that instance. In fact, many of the politicians literally signed a pledge which then somehow became irrevocable. And as a result of not showing some moderation? We are virtually within another recession and our economy has slowed to a crawl. Again, where did it become commonplace to say "I am part of X party, and I must follow these beliefs, to a T, without compromise, no matter what the cost may be?" How can humans function like this? In short: they cannot. Without compromise we are not human. We become animals, programmed to do things without thought or rationale: we do them because we decided, somewhere, that we are bound by some hidden code. This is a dangerous road. But again, it is becoming far too common.

This ideology now permeates every aspect of our lives. Take careers for example. No longer are you allowed to do something that somewhat interests you, but perhaps isn't your "dream job" or "passion;" but, you know it's a good career and it will not kill you. You are satisfied with it; no more, no less. Again, this is now considered "lazy." This generation, and the generations forthcoming are being taught that we must follow our "passion." If we don't love what we do, then we should quit and "follow our dreams." Am I saying that people never do what they want? Of course not! There are many people who absolutely love what they do and they are the lucky ones. But for the vast majority of us, we do what we do because it makes sense. We do what we do knowing that we are not defined by our job title but rather by who we are as a person. For me, that path is pharmacy. Do I love pharmacy? In all honesty I can tell you I do not (and those who read my blithering on Facebook and Twitter will likely agree). But do I hate it? Of course not. It mildly interests me, I moderately enjoy it, and to be honest I'm pretty damn good at it. But again, this thinking and this philosophy isn't allowed? "You don't love pharmacy? Well come on why did you do it then? You HAVE to love pharmacy. You HAVE to want to be the greatest pharmacist of all time." To those I respond no, I do not HAVE to do any of that. Do I aspire to be some all powerful head of a clinical team? Absolutely not. And for that I am "lazy." If that is the case so be it. If "lazy" means "doing a job well but not obsessing over it and then coming home to enjoy life" then yes, I am lazy. But when I am on the job, doing my duty, will I do it to the best of my ability? You bet your ass I will. And I'll be damn good at it, too. However, when I go home, I want to forget about it. I have always been incredibly (perhaps disturbingly) good at compartmentalizing, and my work is my work, and my life is my life. Do not confuse the two.

In fact, this issue permeates into relationships of any type it seems. It has to be all or nothing now. There is no "let's just see where it goes" any more. If we do not want to hang out with someone or (God forbid) we want time to ourselves for no other reason than to decompress through being alone, then that means we have a problem. Being alone for the sake of being alone is a foreign concept. That means we don't enjoy being with that person, be they friend, romantic, or otherwise. Why? Let's try and ask ourselves if we can think about the situation, once again, and maybe put ourselves in others' shoes. Perhaps if we understood that person's point of view, then maybe we could understand why they do what they do. But let's try to forget that whole jumping to conclusions and over-analyzing bullshit that we all seem to descend into.

I just realized that this post really had no point. There was no beginning, middle, or end. It was almost like a dream. I'm afraid I'm going to "wake up" and need some sort of totem. But I don't care because it's still all true. We all know it. So why can't we wake up? Loyalties and ideologies have been replaced by fanaticism and dogmas. There is no rational thought any more. So I ask you, where can someone such as myself fit in? Perhaps there is no place for me. Good riddance, I say.

Oh if there's random song lyrics in here I had my iPod on while typing this so some could have creeped their way in, through no fault of my own of course...