The Only Good Thing to Come from Giant Eagle.

Besides, of course, learning that I wouldn't be a good doctor because I accidentally bagged something wrong. But that's another time and place. What happened today has got to be one of my greatest witnessings, or at least my favorite. Behold the story of

A Man and His Weed.

First, you must know that I was minding my own business, and by minding my own business I mean checking out a woman who bought entirely organic fruits and vegetables and proceeded to tell me what each one was and how much each costs. And on the register next to me, register 10 for those of you keeping score at home, a large family of, oh let's say three generations, including a man, his wife, his brother, his kids, his mother, and his father, proceeds to the checkout. A woman then wanders towards the end of mine, and I had to make sure she was buying parsnips, a rather rare vegetable with which I had previously not dealt.

Suddenly, the woman makes a rather scandalous remark, one that could only include sarcasm...or could it?

"I think that man just dropped his weed."

Now first, I would just like to know how she knows what it looks like. She had to be about 35. And a mother at that, I believe. Then again, when a tiny baggie of dark green spice-looking bunches falls out of a man's pocket and lands on the floor, one can only assume that this is the case. And in fact, after making a slow turn, only for dramatic tension, I noticed that it did look an awful lot like the now very outlawed drug, marijuana.

"I don't really know how to respond to that." (This is me.)

And with a slight chuckle, I really did not. I mean what was I supposed to do? Pick it up and say "Hey you dropped THIS." I am pretty sure if they caught me handling a bag of illegal drugs on security tape, I feel like I would be fired, arrested by Lily (who of course would ask "Where's the beer?"), and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

"You know what, I'll just tell him."

Oh so the woman takes initiative now. She's going to march up to him and tell him straight to his face that he dropped the illegal substance. Right?

"Hey, you dropped something."

Aww, man, and I thought she was going to actually say "weed." But alas, she calls it "something." But now the man is suddenly a bit flustered. Oh my! We've discovered his secret. With his family there and all! He quickly wheels around on his heel and snatches up the tiny bag. He then places it quickly in his pocket, never to see daylight (yeah right) again.

However, no one really knows if it was in fact weed. Could it have been some odd spice that rarely makes its way from the high hills of Finland to the United States? Considering the circumstances, I think not. So, actually, I can't really report anything or state anything to be certain because I did not ask, nor did I even begin to think about touching it. So was it really the all-powerful marijuana as the woman first thought?

Alas, we will never know...

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Review

Alright, I'm sure y'all have been anticipating this since the end of the first one. And I must say, I have been as well. And now finally it has come, and oh what a roar does it make. Though that's not necessarily the best thing.

Dead Man's Chest continues the adventures of Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann. This time, Jack is looking for a key to unlock a chest that will eventually allow him to repay his debt to the infamous Davy Jones. Meanwhile, Will Turner and Ms. Swann have been imprisoned by Cutler Beckett, given their successful attempt at springing Captain Jack Sparrow free. Beckett makes a deal with Turner that if he were to get the compass that Sparrow is using and bring it back, Jack will no longer be pursued and Turner and Swann will be freed. Oh by the way, Will and Elizabeth are to be married, but are interrupted by such events. And all the while Davy Jones is on the hunt for Sparrow.

Therein lies the first problem. The story is pretty bizarre. It's also VERY confusing at times. I often found myself lost and hoping for an explanation by a character (which usually came). Still, I found far too many points in which I was lost. Subsequently, I became a little annoyed at times. It just seemed like that every time something was about to be "tied up," there was some bizarre twist that would conveniently send the troop on another quest for something else. There were just too many moments that I wanted to yell out "Oh COME ON!" But hey, at least the story wasn't overtly simple and, in the end, almost everything does get explained. So, you really don't lose.

Pretty much from the outset, there is absolute ACTION. And for two and a half hours, that's what you are going to get...ACTION ACTION ACTION, with a bit of humor thrown in. And I must say, I still love Captain Jack Sparrow. He is, by far, one of the most original and creative characters ever invented. He is witty, yet smart. He is evil, yet good. He just embodies cool. So, when there is humor, it's good. And Keira Knightley got to flex her muscles a little more this time, which was nice to see. Orlando Bloom is fair, not going beyond what he did in the first film. But a really cool character was Davy Jones. His visual effects are astounding. I just love his eyes, and the way he talked was even brilliant.

The visual effects were very very good. And there were a lot of them. Davy Jones' crew is in fact all CGI. The thing I liked most about the CGI characters is that there mouths were really animated well with speech patterns. In some movies, you get the sense that the mouths just open and close. But in this one, you really thought they were articulating the words. It looked realistic, even though the characters were completely fantastic. The water effects are good, as are all of the ships. All in all, visual effects keep looking better and better in each film.

Now, my one big complaint with the film. It is just a bit overwhelming. I mean, out of the 150 minutes the film runs, I would honestly venture about 115 of them are all ACTION. It's just crazy sometimes. I just wanted it to stop a little more, and take a breath. But it just kept pushing ahead and never looked back. I mean, Johnny Depp is an amazing actor. I wanted to see more of it! But instead, there are just constant fights and battles and daring escapes. It's just a little insane sometimes! But, it is a summer blockbuster, so it's really expected.

The one part I did love was the music. I mean seriously, that theme NEVER gets old. It always portrays the sense that these people are in danger, but they'll get out of it. It's just a REALLY cool theme. It's a pirate type of thing, and it's very sea oriented, if you know what I mean.

So, I guess coming out of it I was a little let down. I think this was because I had been SO surprised at how much I really did like the first one and how GOOD the first one really was. I just had such high expectations for this film. And I just felt like it was ALMOST there, but not quite. It's just a little too overbearing. You just come out of it, and you just feel a little exhausted. It doesn't move too fast, it's just crazy.

You might get the sense that I hated this movie. But in reality, I enjoyed it very much. It was a bit of fun, I just was a little let down. I definitely recommend it. Especially if you haven't seen the first one (however you'll be COMPLETELY lost). This was very tough one to score, very tough indeed.

Why IS it always the rum?

3/5